Monday, March 1, 2010

Looking back...

At this time last year, Hendrick was two hours old. We had just finished eighteen and a half hours of labor and were settling into our room at the hospital with this tiny, beautiful little baby who was perfect in every way. He was tired, we were tired, and the hugeness of our lives together was incomprehensible. It felt like time had stopped and we were going to be living in that moment forever. But of course time went on and we left the hospital a day later and went home to our apartment to began our life with H.

Those first few weeks were an emotional roller coaster. I would look at H and cry because he was so beautiful. I would look at H and cry because I was so tired. With the help of good friends and family we made it through the beginning of H's life surrounded by love, laughter, and support.

We figured out all sorts of interesting things this year, such as how far away from the computer to change a newborn, how loud a tiny human can be, how little sleep one really needs, and how to communicate again as a couple (with less sleep and a baby in the mix) among many other things.

There have been many moments that were far from perfect. There were days when I spent too much time preparing in the hopes that everything would run "perfectly" only to have it all implode. I learned how to adjust my expectations so that I was able to enjoy the imperfection of it all and lo and behold things began to feel easier.

This year has been full of wonderful moments. To be there to witness H as he discovered his hands, feet, us... has been a gift I will be forever grateful for. As a teacher I always felt lucky to be a part of the lives of my students and now I feel lucky to be a part of H's life. It is such a blessing to get to experience the wonder of each new discovery with a child. The shrieks of joy at each new moment. "Aha! Look at this! Isn't it fabulous!"

And as we close this first year of minutes, hours, and days, another one has already begun full of its own discoveries. I cannot wait to find out what we will discover about ourselves this year. What joys will we have? What struggles? What else will we get to learn about H? What other magic will we get to see? One thing is for certain, I will no doubt be surprised and humbled over and over as we keep ambling down this little dirt road that is our path.

1 comment:

  1. The way you have adjusted your expectations, as you say, to allow non-perfect things happen and accept that with alacrity, because you prioritize what is truly, truly important, is my life goal these days. You are an amazing role model to me. Forever hugs — xoxoxo.