My firemen

This is H's self-proclaimed fireman outfit. And he really wanted Daddy to dress as a fireman with him. This is the result. So sweet.

Summer sabbatical...

As H was marching through the leaves at our front step and then picking them up and crunching them in his hands, I was lazily thinking of all the autumns before this one. And then I suddenly realized - it is AUTUMN! I am not sure quite how it happened but I managed to take a summer sabbatical from our little blog. We spent the summer celebrating and traveling, cooking and cleaning, and having many family adventures, big and small. I hope to post pictures and stories over the next few weeks so that I can remember all of the things that have transpired over the past few months and so that those of you who are reading can know what sort of sunny black hole we fell into.

Until then, enjoy the beginnings of fall. H, J, and I certainly are. We have spent a good amount of time this weekend at the park or at the window watching the wind blow through the leaves in the trees. As the craziness of a new school year swirls around us, we are doing our best to stop and appreciate the beauty of it all as opposed to being swept away, as so easily happens with time.

Orange you glad...

H and J celebrate our bounty.

One of the amazing things about our little home is the abundance of fruit in the backyard. We have an orange tree, lemon tree, fig tree, pear tree, apple tree, apricot tree, cherry tree, and a quince tree. I love the fact that H can go out in the backyard and pick an orange and eat it. I did not grow up in a climate where that was possible and so it seems completely magical to me. H really enjoyed the time he got to spend with J this August. Much time was spent enjoying the wonderful outdoors in our yard, neigborhood, and city.

Family Portrait

H needed a family portrait for his classroom and our wonderful and kind neighbor took a few photos for us. So, for those of you who haven't seen us in a little while, here are a few photos to keep you up-to-date.

Tahoe!

My first experience with Tahoe happened many years ago now and it involved a long journey, a very tired pick-up truck and an unexpected pit stop in Truckee. I swore I would never return. But lo and behold, after J took a fishing trip this spring swearing it was a stunning place worth revisiting, we took our first family vacation. Armed with some great locations from a Tahoe veteran we spent our wedding anniversary enjoying beautiful lodgings and the amazing outdoors. Thank you to each of you who helped us have such a wonderful family adventure. We really needed one.

Daddy goes fishing

We picnic while daddy is fishing

Trying to keep ourselves interested as the fishing continues

Just loungin'

What a cool park on the edge of Lake Tahoe

An unexpected dip in the lake

H loves the water

And has no sense of self preservation when it comes to water

Geese!

Donner Lake in the morning - cold but fun

Exploring with Daddy

These pinecones are amazing. And there are so many of them!

So beautiful

Figuring out how to use a straw

Last bit of fun before we head home.

Blues Boy

Second Father's Day

It all started with a card. H was super excited to use a pen.

Then H gave Daddy the prized card and gift.

Then H helped Daddy with his workout.

In the afternoon, we took a trip the Marina.

It was SUPER windy. H decided to hang with Daddy...

kp

Until we found a less exposed area and a nice patch of dirt. Where we played for while until we decided to go home for dinner. Salmon cakes and corn and tomato salsa. Yum.

Water baby

The warm weather is here and H is in love with all the water time that comes with it. If you would please join me for a stroll into our backyard to see the water baby at work.

As we walk further into the back we can see...

H and J setting up H's water dispenser! We have been enjoying the hose recently but it involves a lot of adult involvement as well as a lot of water and so we went on the hunt for an alternative water set up. The hunt was not long or hard. Working in education has its perks from time to time and this is one of them. I feel like more often than not when I find myself needing help with H I can turn to teachers to give me tried and true solutions and sure enough we found it. This dispenser is cheap and just right for H. With a little work H can easily fill his buckets and watering can. He is in love with this dispenser and wakes up wanting to go outside to play.

I don't think we will have any trouble keeping the plants watered this summer. H is making sure everything is getting the water it needs.

More kitchen fun

The table that we were using as H's art table is now being used for both art and kitchen activities due to limited space available. So, the most recent activity available is pouring water. H discovered this activity after waking up from a lovely afternoon nap and was thrilled at the sight of the little pitcher and glass. I showed H how to pour water from the pitcher into the cup and then drink out of the cup. After H waited patiently for my turn to be done he carefully took his own turn, thoroughly enjoying the entire experience.

To watch H gingerly pick up the pitcher and and attempt to carefully pour the water out was almost too cute for words. It is so amazing to observe him as he takes each step very carefully and deliberately. It feels like he is growing up so fast right now and gaining more and more independence each day.

Growing up, kitchen style

H is simple crazy about the kitchen. He loves to wisk, splash, pluck, and dance. For well over a month H has spent a lot of his time with his basket of kitchen items sitting on the floor or working at his table happy and engaged. Often when H wants to be picked up it so he can see what is up on the stove top. If H and I are coming in the front door and he hears J working in the kitchen he goes running in to see what is happening.

A few week ago we asked H's teacher what she would recommend for H given his love of all things food related. She said that we should include him in as many ways as possible in the kitchen. Some specific recommendations she gave for a 14 month old are peeling bananas, pulling grapes from the vine, and pouring water. In addition I am trying to include H in as many cooking activities as I can. H helps tear spinach and lettuce for salads and sandwiches and I try to prepare and assemble things at H's level.
Stay tuned for more kitchen stories and recipes coming soon!

Morning hike

One of the amazing things about being in CA is the beautiful parks and amazing weather. We decided to take advantage of these facts and headed out for a hike this weekend. I must admit, hikes are much shorter and slower now that H is walking. He loved being outside and exploring the new terrain.

what's up?

The sweetest thing

Yesterday afternoon when J came home from work H was putting around the living room minding his own business when he came across a large book of children's poetry. As opposed to keeping it for himself and flipping through the pages as he normally does, H carried it over to J to read to him. It was so cute to see H lugging this enormous book (relative to H's size) over to J, babbling all the way. Then the two of them settled in to read some poetry. Sigh. So cute.

All smiles...

No matter what I am feeling or how my day is going, H's smiles melt my heart. His joy and happiness are just so pure and sincere. That is one thing that I love (and miss) about working in a classroom, experiencing the sincerity of emotion in young children every day.

"Mawh"

For a while now H has playing with the sounds "dada" and "mama" when referrring to J and I. It is really sweet to here him babbling "mamamama" as he searches for me at home. But, I am not sure if "dada" and "mama" count as first words because he is still not consistent in his usage. So, more on this front later.

About a month ago H started nodding "yes" and "no" in response to certain questions (all pertaining to food, of course). This was very exciting to us on a number of levels. Most exciting was the idea that we were at the beginning of having to guess less with H. The head nodding eventually had sounds associated with it and now we are at the point that H will answers questions with the word "more" and "done" and is consistently repeating sounds that we make when we ask him questions, i.e. "Are you ready to get out of the car?" Response: "Dedy." It really sounds like the word "ready"! (I know that I sound like a gushing new parent when I say this, but I have decided to embrace it as opposed to worrying about looking "cool".)

So, as we look back on the last few weeks I guess this means that H's first word was "more", which is generally pronounced as a breathy "mawh". It is so cute to ask him if he wants more food and have him pause, look intently at the food, and say, "mawh". If he doesn't want more of a particular food he will shake his head "no". I am excited for H to start using more words outside of the context of food but for now the whole thing is pretty amazing.

Moment in Review

Year Moment in Review

At 3:15am, Hendrick was at the gate, whimpering. I sat up, slipped out of bed, and headed to his room to help him back to sleep. I put my hands beneath his arms and lifted him up to my chest, right hand beneath his bottom, left on his back and neck. We went over to his bed. I knelt down, rotated him counter-clockwise till his back was upon the bed, and covered him with his softest blanket. But the unhappy cries did not cease. Even as I was stepping over the gate, I knew he was after my heels.

Once out, in our bedroom, I went for the bathroom to give Hendrick a few minutes to figure out that he would rather get back into bed on his own than stand at the gate crying (at some point I am confident he will come to this conclusion, too). Admittedly, this break was also intended to relax myself in every way possible—to give myself the best shot at patient parenting at that challenging hour. When I returned, I walked in again to place him back in bed, trying to balance warmth, comfort, and reassurance with a sure firmness that it was time to sleep. I laid him back down and again made an exit. Hendrick indignantly got back up and headed for the gate.

At this point, I realized I had missed a key step in my own patented, ideal, early-morning Hendrick protocol: 1) put Hendrick back to bed; if no effect, 2) CHANGE DIAPER; if no effect, 3) comfort and/or put Hendrick back to bed, depending on circumstances; if absolutely desperate, 4) send in big guns: nursing time (but I prefer this only after 5am). Yes, I had forgot the diaper change. So I returned, removed a sopping wet diaper, which, when balled up, was the size of a small softball, and applied a dry one.

Hendrick was then really angry, face wet, breathing uneven. So I picked him up and walked him, back and forth, back and forth, across the open eight-foot stretch of floor in his room. I gently bounced him and shooshed him all the while. With the bounce, my shooshing sounded not unlike a rotating water sprinkler. Finally Hendrick settled down, laid his head on my chest, and tucked his hands under his belly. He was clearly ready. I placed him in bed and covered him up.

Three more trips to the gate later, I went in again and stepped over the gate and the little head cocked up at a 90-degree angle to watch me pass. I went over to his bed, made straight and pulled back his covers, and then patted the bed as I looked at him and said, “Come on, sweetie.” Hendrick crawled over and sat beside me. I placed him once more on the mattress, and he finally cuddled his favorite blanket warmly.

I entered our bedroom and sat on the couch, not knowing in the moment whether he was going to get up again. So I took the opportunity to do something I haven’t done in a very long time: close my eyes, sit, and just be. I let myself relax and just experience whatever was there to experience. I listened to myself breathe. I listened to Katrina breathe. I listened to Hendrick sigh. I listened to the refrigerator buzz. I listened to a train coming and going in the distance, its sound reaching for and then running away from me. I listened to a haunting wind blow in and out of the chimney. I listened to the outside hum that is the sound of nothing and everything all at once. I sat, just being, just experiencing, knowing that moment was only for a time and would never exist again. Moments move. They are born, grow, change, and pass.

I pondered my experience of Hendrick’s first year of life. I found myself thinking about how earlier in the day I had said to Hendrick, as if joking, “Don’t worry, Hen, I promise I’ll be a better Daddy in your second year,” knowing all the while that I didn’t intend it completely in jest, knowing that in my heart there was grief that I had let the first year with my baby pass so fast and had let so many opportunities to be a good Dad go by. This day I had to work, that day I was busy applying for more work. Meanwhile, Hendrick was becoming a new person everyday. Where did all the time go? So much of it was now lost, not to be recovered. Yes, I had to be a better Dad.

But joined for a moment with the moment, surrounded with the sound of nothing and everything, I knew that it was okay. I could do a better job; we all can. Yet I also understood that this was the way of it. This was what it meant to be a parent. They say the first year goes fast, because it does, and none of us are ready for it. And the rest of the experience of parenthood will no doubt prove the same. Every moment will be different. One of laughter. One of joy. One of disappointment. One of sorrow. One of pain. Every moment is special because it cannot be forever. All we can do is embrace it, feel it, and then let it go, sometimes with patience, sometimes with gratitude, sometimes willingly, even happily, sometimes only with visceral sadness and clinging reluctance. But however the moment comes and goes, we must know that movement is its very nature. And if anything, at least this recognition may allow us to be okay.

At 3:50am, okay, I slipped back into bed and found quiet sleep.

Rockin' it

H loves to dance. You give him a simple beat, even just clapping your hands, and he instantly starts grooving. I am sure a lot of this comes from the fact that there is a lot of music being played or sung at our home. And we love to dance and so H is just absorbing the family culture but it is so funny to watch. There are three distinct dance moves that are almost too much.

1. The Head Bop: When we have a CD on of particularly great tunes, his current favorite is "African Playground", H will begin bopping his head instantly. Sometimes he feels the need to really break it down and then he will grip the couch or table or whatever he is standing at, bow his head and just start boppin' his head to the beat. When the music stops he will look up, ready for the next beat.

2. The Squat: When H is really dancing it often involvs lots of deep squats. He will bounce up and down over and over and sometimes he feels the need to do a side-step and bounce, side-step bounce.

3. The Butt Wiggle: If H is crawling along and we start singing or put some music on he will stop crawling, extend his right leg and start wiggling his butt. Often this leads to the need to find something to stand up by so that he can really dance. But sometimes it will just be a pause in his crawling. He will break it out for a minute and then keep going to wherever he meant to go.

Happy Birthday to you....

H turned one year old today! This concept is simply unbelievable! None-the-less we celebrated. After we all got home from our respective schools, I set to work at getting dinner ready for the small group of friends who were able to join us for H's first birthday. The apartment had already been decorated with some fabulous dollar store finds to make the atmosphere as festive as possible so all that was left was the food and celebration.

The evening was a glorious mess of food, playing, and laughter. H was a champ and ate his fill of Mediterranean cuisine. He dined on olives, tomotaoes, cucumber, hummus, pita, and falafel. I was really impressed that he ate it all. Then he got down and played with the two D's that were visiting. Our living room floor became an sea of blocks and other toys in one state of use or another.

The cupcakes were done just before H was ready for bed. Everyone sang happy birthday and H looked around beaming with happiness, swaying to the song. Somehow we thought that we would be able to put a cupcake in front of him, sing, and then not have him eat the cupcake. It became clear from the deeply concerned look on H's face when Jason went to remove the cupcake that we should just let him have it. It is his birthday afterall.

If it is possible to describe H's cupcake eating style as carefully messy then that is what you should imagine. He takes the cupcake and crams it into his mouth and uses both of his little hands to keep shoving more and more slowly into his mouth not letting a crumb escape, if he can help it. And his expression is super focused. You can just imagine him thinking, "This is so good and such a rare occurance that I am not letting it go, no matter what."

After all of the fun H went to bed happily. I laid him down and he rolled to his side waiting for his blanket to suck on as he difted off to sleep.